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Tomb of the Unknown Soldier
Christmas at Arlington National Cemetery
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TOMB OF THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER
On Jeopardy the other night, the final question was: How many steps does the guard
take during his walk across the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier? All three missed it.
This is really an awesome sight to watch if you've never had the
chance. Very fascinating. More information on the subject:
Other requirements of the Guard:
They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives. They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform {fighting} or the tomb in any way. After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.
The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt. There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror. Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for guard duty.
The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone, nor watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery. A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred. Among the notables are:
ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD, AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM.
In 2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was approaching Washington, DC our US Senate and House of Representatives took 2 days off in anticipation of the storm. On the ABC Evening News, it was reported that because of the dangers from the hurricane, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment. They respectfully declined the offer, "No way, Sir!" Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment, it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a serviceperson. The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, since 1930.
A WINNING SALES PITCH
Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about
their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain
Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had
never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the
room and listened to Jones's sales pitch.
Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6,000."
"Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?"
CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES
This soldier had been stationed overseas and was fooling around on his wife. She was back
home in the states. She found out about it through some anonymous letters.
The soldier gets a package from his wife. He finds inside a batch of homemade cookies and a video tape of his favorite stateside TV shows. He invites a couple of buddies over to watch the tape. They're all having a great time eating the cookies and watching episodes of "South Park".
Right in the middle of one episode, though, the tape cuts to a home video of the soldier's wife, on her knees, giving the soldier's best friend oral sex. After a few seconds, the best friend "does his business" and she turns, on camera, and spits it right into a mixing bowl of cookie dough. The wife then looks right into the camera and says, "I want a divorce."
Now THAT'S a "Dear John" letter!
CHICKEN?
This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a U.S. naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.
| Americans: | Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. |
| Canadians: | Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. |
| Americans: | This is the Captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. |
| Canadians: | No. I say again, you divert YOUR course. |
| Americans: | THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER U.S.S. MISSOURI, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. |
| Canadians: | This is a lighthouse. Your call. |
THE PARATROOPER
A young man joins the army and signs up with the paratroopers. He goes through basic
training fine, completes all the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and
finally builds up to his first real jump from a plane. The next day he phones his father
to tell him the news.
"So did you jump?" asks his father.
"Well let me tell you what happened," his son explains. "We got in the plane and the sergeant opened the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out!"
"Is that when you jumped?" asks the father.
"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door."
"Did you jump then?"
"I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped and I was the last man left. He tried to push me out but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the jump master, a great big guy, about 6'5" and 300 pounds."
"He said to me, 'Boy, are you going to jump or not?' I said, 'No sir, I'm too scared, so he took his cock out and said, 'Boy, either you jump out of that door or I'm sticking this up your ass.'
"So did you jump?" his father asks.
"Well a little, at first."
ARMED FORCES IN HEAVEN
A soldier, a sailor, an airman and a marine got into an argument about which branch
of the service was "The Best." The arguing became so heated the four service men
failed to see an oncoming truck as they crossed the street. They were hit by the
truck and killed instantly.
Soon, the four servicemen found themselves at the pearly gates of Heaven. There, they met St. Peter and decided that only he could be the ultimate source of truth and honesty. So, the four servicemen asked him, "St. Peter, which branch of the United States Armed Forces is the best?"
St. Peter replied, "I can't answer that. However, I will ask God what He thinks the next time I see Him. Meanwhile, thank you for your service on Earth and welcome to Heaven."
Some time later the four servicemen see St. Peter and remind him of the question they had asked when first entering Heaven. The four servicemen asked St. Peter if he was able to find the answer. Suddenly, a sparkling white dove lands on St. Peter's shoulder. In the dove's beak is a note glistening with gold dust. St. Peter opens the note, trumpets blare, gold dust drifts into the air, harps play crescendos and St. Peter begins to read the note aloud to the four servicemen:
MEMORANDUM FROM THE DESK OF THE ALMIGHTY ONE
| TO: |  |
All Former Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines |
| SUBJECT: | |
Which Military Service Is the Best |
ANGEL DECOYS?
What does this look like to you?
WE'RE SERGEANTS NOW
Two old boys from the mountains, Leroy and Jasper have been promoted from Privates
to Sergeants. Not long after, they're out for a walk and Leroy says, "Hey, Jasper,
there's the NCO Club. Let's you and me stop in."
"But we's Privates," protests Jasper.
"We's Sergeants now," says Leroy, pulling him inside. "Now, Jasper, I'm a-gonna sit down and have me a drink."
"But we's Privates," says Jasper.
"You blind, boy?" asks Leroy, pointing at his stripes. "We's Sergeants now." So they have their drink, and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Leroy.
"You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to date you, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea."
Leroy pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Jasper, go look in the dictionary and see what gonorrhea means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign."
So Jasper goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Leroy the big okay sign.
Three weeks later Leroy is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea. "Jasper," he says, "what fo' you give me the okay?"
"Well, Leroy, in the dictionary, it say gonorrhea affects only the privates." He points to his stripes. "But we's Sergeants now!"
THE RECRUIT
Dear Ma and Pa,
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. but I am getting so I like to sleep late.
Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc. but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you 'til noon when you get fed again.
It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches", which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
Gail
6 BOYS
Each year I am hired to go to Washington, DC, with the eighth grade class from Clinton, WI,
my hometown, to videotape their trip. I greatly enjoy visiting our nation's capital, and
each year I take some special memories back with me. This fall's trip was especially memorable.
On the last night of our trip, we stopped at the Iwo Jima memorial. This memorial is the largest bronze statue in the world and depicts one of the most famous photographs in history -- that of the six brave Marines raising the American Flag at the top of a rocky hill on the island of Iwo Jima, Japan, during WW II.
Over one hundred students and chaperones piled off the buses and headed towards the memorial. I noticed a solitary figure at the base of the statue, and as I got closer he asked, "Where are you guys from?" I told him that we were from Wisconsin. "Hey, I'm a cheese head, too! Come gather around, cheese heads, and I will tell you a story."
James Bradley just happened to be in Washington, DC, to speak at the memorial the following day. He was there that night to say good night to his dad, who has since passed away. He was just about to leave when he saw the buses pull up. I videotaped him as he spoke to us, and received his permission to share what he said from my videotape. It is one thing to tour the incredible monuments filled with history in Washington, DC, but it is quite another to get the kind of insight we received that night.
"Six boys raised the flag. The first guy putting the pole in the ground is Harlon Block. Harlon was an all-state football player. He enlisted in the Marine Corps with all the senior members of his football team. They were off to play another type of game ... a game called war. But it didn't turn out to be a game.
Harlon, at the age of 21, died with his intestines in his hands. I don't say that to gross you out, I say that because there are people who stand in front of this statue and talk about the glory of war. You guys need to know that most of the boys in Iwo Jima were 17, 18, and 19 years old.
"You see this next guy? That's Rene Gagnon from New Hampshire. If you took Rene's helmet off at the moment this photo was taken and looked in the webbing of that helmet, you would find a photograph of his girlfriend. Rene put that in there for protection because he was scared. He was 18 years old. Boys won the battle of Iwo Jima. Boys. Not old men.
"The next guy here, the third guy in this tableau, was Sergeant Mike Strank. Mike is my hero. He was the hero of all these guys. They called him the "old man" because he was so old. He was already 24. When Mike would motivate his boys in training camp, he didn't say, 'Let's go kill some Japanese' or 'Let's die for our country.' He knew he was talking to little boys. Instead he would say, 'You do what I say, and I'll get you home to your mothers.' "
The last guy on this side of the statue is Ira Hayes, a Pima Indian from Arizona. Ira Hayes walked off Iwo Jima. He went into the White House with my dad. President Truman told him, 'You're a hero.' He told reporters, 'How can I feel like a hero when 250 of my buddies hit the island with me and only 27 of us walked off alive?' So you take your class at school, 250 of you spending a year together having fun, doing everything together ... then all 250 of you hit the beach, but only 27 of your classmates walk off alive. That was Ira Hayes. He had images of horror in his mind. Ira Hayes died dead drunk, face down at the age of 32, ten years after this picture was taken.
"The next guy, going around the statue, is Franklin Sousley from Hilltop, Kentucky. A fun-lovin' hillbilly boy. His best friend, who is now 70, told me, 'Yeah, you know, we took two cows up on the porch of the Hilltop General Store. Then we strung wire across the stairs so the cows couldn't get down. Then we fed them Epsom salts. Those cows crapped all night. Yes, he was a fun-lovin' hillbilly boy. Franklin died on Iwo Jima at the age of 19. When the telegram came to tell his mother that he was dead, it went to the Hilltop General Store. A barefoot boy ran that telegram up to his mother's farm. The neighbors could hear her scream all night and into the morning. The neighbors lived a quarter of a mile away.
"The next guy, as we continue to go around the statue, is my dad, John Bradley from Antigo, Wisconsin, where I was raised. My dad lived until 1994, but he would never give interviews. When Walter Cronkite's producers, or the New York Times would call, we were trained as little kids to say, 'No, I'm sorry, sir, my dad's not here. He is in Canada fishing. No, there is no phone there, sir. No, we don't know when he is coming back.' My dad never fished or even went to Canada. Usually, he was sitting there right at the table eating his Campbell's soup. But we had to tell the press that he was out fishing. He didn't want to talk to the press. "You see, my dad didn't see himself as a hero. Everyone thinks these guys are heroes, 'cause they are in a photo and on a monument. My dad knew better. He was a medic. John Bradley from Wisconsin was a caregiver. In Iwo Jima he probably held over 200 boys as they died. And when boys died in Iwo Jima, they writhed and screamed in pain.
"When I was a little boy, my third grade teacher told me that my dad was a hero. When I went home and told my dad that, he looked at me and said, 'I want you always to remember that the heroes of Iwo Jima are the guys who did not come back. Did NOT come back.'"
"So that's the story about six nice young boys. Three died on Iwo Jima, and three came back as national heroes. Overall, 7,000 boys died on Iwo Jima in the worst battle in the history of the Marine Corps. My voice is giving out, so I will end here. Thank you for your time."
THE LONE MARINE
A Taliban Army platoon was on patrol when the commander noticed a lone Marine standing
on a hilltop in their area. The commander told two of his soldiers to go take out the
Marine, so they dropped their packs and promptly ran as fast as they could toward him.
Just before they got to the top, the Marine ran over the other side of the hill. The two
soldiers followed.
For the next few minutes there were bloody screams and dust flying in the air. Then as quickly as it had started, it stopped and the Marine came up on the hilltop. He brushed off his cammies, straightened his cover, crossed his arms and stood there looking at the Taliban soldiers.
The infuriated commander called for a squad to go get the Marine. They promptly ran as fast as they could toward him. Just before they got to the top, the Marine ran over the other side of the hill. The squad followed, and for the next few minutes there were bloody screams and dust flying in the air. Then as quick as it had started, it stopped and the Marine came up on the hilltop. He brushed off his cammies, straightened his cover, crossed his arms and stood there looking at the Taliban soldiers once again.
The commander was really hot now. He ordered the rest of his platoon to attack the Marine. Determined that Taliban soldiers were far superior to one lone Marine, they had blood in their eyes as they ran up the hill. Just before they got to the top, the Marine ran over the other side of the hill. The bloodthirsty soldiers followed. For many minutes there were horrific screams and dust flying in the air. It continued and continued.
Finally, one lone soldier came crawling back to the commander, all bloody and beat about the head and shoulders. His uniform was torn, cuts were all over his body. The commander asked for a report. The lone soldier, trying to catch his breath, replied in a forceful and trembling voice, "Sir, ... run, ... it's a trick. There are TWO of them!!"
CHRISTMAS AT ARLINGTON NATIONAL CEMETERY
These wreaths -- some 5,000 -- are donated by the Worcester Wreath Co. of Harrington, ME. The owner, Merrill Worcester, not only provides the wreaths, but covers the trucking expense as well. He's done this since 1992. A wonderful guy. Also, most years, groups of Maine school kids combine an educational trip to DC with this event to help out. Making this even more remarkable is the fact that Harrington is in one the poorest parts of the state.
The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy Hour."
"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."
Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?"
"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."
Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
A: He'll tell you.
Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots
A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.
Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine?
A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.
The Chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."
"Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!"
NIGHT WATCH
A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. "Your son is here," she said
to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened.
Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed
Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand.
The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.
The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lit ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious to her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.
Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night. Along towards dawn, the old man died.
The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited. Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.
"Who was that man?" he asked.
The nurse was startled, "He was your father" she answered.
"No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life."
"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"
"I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me. I stayed."
As always, this Marine fulfilled a duty.
