The Difference Between Men and Women in One Paragraph
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8 Things Men Know for Sure About Women The Difference Between Men and Women in One Paragraph
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8 THINGS MEN KNOW FOR SURE ABOUT WOMEN
A TYPICAL MALE RESPONSE
I phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost
track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together.
I couldn't BELIEVE it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe
rekindle a little of that magic.
Wow!" I said. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!" She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!
"Yeah," I said, "Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying she thought tubby bald men were cute. "Anyway", she said, "I've put on a couple of pounds myself!"
So I hung up on the fat bitch.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN IN ONE PARAGRAPH
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the
same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells,
"PIG!!" The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "BITCH." They
each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner he crashes
into a pig in the middle of the road.
TWENTY DOLLARS
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for
$20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her
husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love,
for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to
afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"
That's when she shot him.
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.